Notes App #1
In an effort to post more, I’ve decided to create a series sharing my deepest, most unhinged thoughts straight from the most private corner of my phone: the Notes app. Over the years, I’ve jotted down everything from bad date recaps to post-breakup reflections, plus a few random thoughts sparked by conversations with friends. It’s crazy, it’s deeply personal, and it’s me at my most honest. Welcome to my Notes App.
Yesterday, I got on the G train and saw a ghost, or at least I thought I had. It was someone who looked like my high school best friend. It was peak rush hour and I only caught a glance of them as I brushed past people to find a comfortable standing spot. But as it registered to me who I might’ve just saw I looked back trying to get another glance but he was now buried in the crowd. Adam is someone I still joking consider to be my closest friend. I tell everyone “when I get married he will still be my best man.” After “seeing” him yesterday it reminded me of this Note I wrote almost 10 years ago since we last spoke:
I always think of us…
In my Jeep cruising down the freeway listening to our favorite songs. In my mind it’s always sunny and the ocean is in view, bright, light and fun. Or it's the dead of night, no traffic on the 110, music is blasting and we're driving too fast. You're singing too loudly and I'm off key.
I always think of us. How you always listen to me go on about a topic when we both know I sound like a lunatic. How you are always down to do nothing. I think of us in my Jeep looking at the CASINO sign from the Home Depot parking lot,eating In-N-Out and talking about the boys we never had and our mild obsessions.
I always think of you…You're the only one I want to talk to when I go to those dark places, but I was never the one there for you. You're the first person I want to tell news too. Still.
There are always two things I don't have when I think of us….
a Jeep and you.